Answers to Prayer

Chapter 14

FEELING UNFORGIVEN

The hundreds of letters that God-loving people have sent since February 1990 reveal a most distressing pattern. They indicate that a great number of people evaluate their relationship with God almost totally by their feelings.

At times some of them feel God is far away from them. Others conclude that their prayers don't really amount to much, so they will go all day without praying. And many others can't figure out what's keeping them from being happy Christians.

But one thing in particular especially saddens me. It devastates me when I read letters from lonely Christians who are convinced that the shadows of their old sins are still following them. In other words, they feel God still holds their sins against them. And after telling of the evil things they did before accepting Christ, many have asked, "How could God forgive such wickedness?" 

In this chapter I will show how we can survive the guilt of what we have done in the past. Above all, I will tell how to keep from getting depressed over it. Here are some typical statements people have made in their letters:

"Depression and discouragement rule my life, and I can't control my mind."

"I would appreciate your praying for me, because my mind is really failing me. I have a problem with depression…. My faith is weak, and my mind is very negative.

"I am writing with the hope that perhaps you would be willing to pray for me. I have been afflicted with disabling depression for quite a long time, making it impossible, in some instances, to reason or think straight. Although I have been under medical care, doctors have not been able to help much.

"I told my last doctor that it seems at times as if some power has a hold upon me that I cannot throw off. He suggested that I talk to my minister about my problems, as I could be oppressed by the powers of dark-ness. Do you think such a thing could be taking place in my life? I am a God-loving person, and have been a Christian all my life."

Accepting Forgiveness

Many of God's people have a hard time accepting the fact that God has really forgiven all of their sins. Three distinct reasons hinder that acceptance, and by God's grace we can have victory over all of them.

First, we have in our fallen nature what I like to refer to as the power of separation from God. It consists of two distinct elements: distrust of God and unbelief. Overwhelming forces both, they have wrecked untold millions of lives through the centuries. For instance, it caused the antediluvians to refuse to enter Noah's ark and to perish in the Flood. Also it motivated the Hebrews to distrust God even though He had already delivered them from Egypt through one miracle after another. That insidious power led them to disbelieve all Promise. As a result, they died in the wilderness.

The second reason that people have some difficulty believing their sins are forgiven is that they are spiritually starved. When doubt entered their minds they had no spiritual stamina to resist, nothing to sustain them in a positive way. Here is an illustration. A few days ago I conversed over the phone with a woman who was quite dissatisfied with her Christian walk. As I tried to build up her confidence in God's infinite interest in our well-being, I quoted this well-known verse of Scripture: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). Immediately she asked if I could tell her where to find the passage. She had little knowledge of Scripture. 

At times I plead with people to memorize Bible verses so the Holy Spirit can bring them to mind in times of need. He can then fill them with hope, faith in God, and give them power to resist evil. It encourages me when I encounter great numbers of people determined to get closer to God by memorizing His Holy Word. I can see the Holy Spirit working there, and it is wonderful.
The third reason some people find forgiveness hard to accept is that Satan has shaken people's confidence in God's ability to forgive.

"Demon spirits love to play games with the minds of humans," a spiritist priest told me during my days as a spirit worshiper. 

"They flash thoughts and images in people's minds with such delicate skill that the recipients believe them to be their own reasoning." With a great sense of satisfaction he bragged how the spirits can activate the human imagination, triggering people to like certain persons and hate others. They can cause them to experience vibrant happiness, or the direct opposite great discouragement and depression.

When I say that we can fall under the influence of satanic suggestions, that does not mean that we are demon-possessed as is too often claimed by those involved in deliverance ministries.

As I reply to those who have written the kinds of letters I excerpted at the beginning of this chapter, I make a special effort to encourage them. I direct their attention to the fact that "(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:4, 5).

And I especially stress the importance of praying for the Holy Spirit to fight their spiritual battles for them. Many of those who have turned to prayer with a full understanding of what they were up against are now enjoying glorious victory over what had once been crushing problems.

Take God at His Word

Following is a letter that I wrote to a woman who faced many distresses and perplexities in her Christian walk, and felt that her problems resulted from the fact that some of her sins before her conversion had been too great for God to forgive.

"Dear Mrs. Gray: I read your letter of April 21 a number of times and immediately presented it before the Lord. As I did so I implored His grace for you and your family, setting forth in great detail how demonic spirits have one objective in mind—to destroy your confidence in God.

"Please do not allow yourself to lose your trust in the Lord by thinking that perhaps you are somehow deficient in your spiritual life, and therefore unable to draw closer to Him. Take courage."He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him. For he knoweth our frame; he remem-bereth that we are dust' [Psalm 103:10-14].

"You stated in your letter, I long, oh, so much, to know His presence, His love, personally as I once did.'

"My dear sister, with God's help I can help you establish a wonderful relationship with God. But it will be one that will be solidly founded on the Word of God and not on feelings or emotions excited to some kind of an ecstasy. Its degree of excellence rests strictly on Calvary. Every morning ask the Lord Jesus to appropriate to you the merits of the blood He shed on Calvary for the remission of sin, and for Him to clothe you with the robe of His righteousness. As the apostle Paul states in his Epistle to the Philippians: 'And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: that I may know him, and the power of his resurrection' [Philippians 3:9, 10].

"When you let Him place you in such a state, our heavenly Father views you in a whole new light. In my own Christian walk I have experienced what Paul is writing about, and it is the ultimate in closeness with God in this land of the enemy.

"Your letter especially interested me because so many of God's people struggle with the same worry. Has the Lord lost interest in them since they do not feel His presence as they once did? They feel that it is no longer easy for them to go to church, or to even have their devotions with the joy they once had. And they fear the future, concerned that they might not make it the city of God. Furthermore, they feel that their lack of goodness makes it hard to live for God. As they look back upon their sinful life and the way they lived before coming to God, they become more disheartened and feel like giving up.

"I consider such a condition to be a spiritual malaria brought about by the enemies of all righteousness.

"It's no wonder that the Bible tells us that 'the just shall live by faith' [Habakkuk 2:4; Romans 1:17]. Or to put it another way, take God at His word and live for Him regardless of how you may feel.

"I know of only one way to escape the deadly spiritual malaria destroying the Christian experience of so many people. It is to memorize verses of Scripture that tell of God's love for sinners, such as John 3:16, For God so loved the world,' or 'Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy' [Micah 7:18].

"Let's consider David's life, for example.

"Think of it-here is a man who had lived life to its fullest. Most of his years were an honor to God and a glory to his nation, but not all of them. Even though he was a man after God's own heart, he still committed iniquity. For example, he coveted the wife of one of his military officers and lusted to have her as his own. Even more than that, he devised a way he could have her husband killed and out of the way. Then he rejoiced when he received the news of Uriah's death.

"To understand the full extent of the wickedness he had done, we must bear in mind that the word 'iniquity' implies having done great evil with the full understanding that God was witnessing it all, and that the individual didn't care a bit that God's commandments forbade such wickedness. What David did, I consider to be outright rebellion against Someone whom he claimed to love and serve. His sin was deliberate and premeditated.

"Now consider this. Humanly speaking, a man like that should not have expected God to forgive his wicked-ness. But because David became repentant and confessed his great iniquity, the Bible tells us that God forgave him. And I find great comfort in the thought that if He could forgive David after what he did, He is well able to forgive me, as He did 47 years ago despite the fact that I worshiped spirits and declared I hated Him.

"Years ago I memorized a large part of David's psalm of repentance (Psalm 51), particularly verses 1-3 and 10-12. These scriptures have solidified my confidence in God's willingness to forgive and, above all, to forget.

"As I have looked back on my life, the thought has often entered my mind that God could never have forgiven me. But immediately I recognized such doubt as an attempt by an evil angel to dishearten me and to have me give up on God. The only way to block such thoughts is to begin quoting verses of Scripture that tell of God's goodness and love. I especially like to quote these words of the apostle Paul:

"I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord' [Romans 8:38, 39].

"We must never forget the fact that as long as we live in this land of the enemy, Satan and his spirit associates will do everything possible to make us feel terrible. They may even torture the minds of some of us as they did to John the Baptist. If he had listened to his feelings while in prison, he would have missed out on eternal life.

"Think of it: here was a man who lived for God, had done everything possible to bring glory to Him, but now he found himself languishing in a cold and foul-smelling dungeon. I believe that you will agree with me he would have had a good reason to give up on God. 

"But like other great people of the Bible (read the eleventh chapter of Hebrews), he had fortified his mind with Scripture, and as he lifted his heart to God in prayer, the Spirit of God fortified him in right thinking, not with feelings of ecstasy.

"Although he lost his life for the cause of God, Jesus honored him when He said, 'Verily I say unto you, Among them that are born of women there hath not risen a greater than John the Baptist' [Matthew 11:11].

"You may not agree with me, but I am inclined to believe that the Spirit of God is preparing you for a special work, one that will demand that you walk by faith and not by sight or feelings of ecstasy. The time will soon be here when God's commandment-keeping churches will need individuals who will walk by faith only, no matter what.

"At that time God's people will need encouragement from such special people. People whom the Spirit of God has already led to fortify themselves by memorizing the Word of God. And it could very well be that Jesus wants you to be one of those powerful people.

"It is my firm conviction that, by the grace of Him who went the way of Calvary to accomplish our salva-tion, you will be made a great overcomer."

Since then I have corresponded with others struggling with the same doubt that distressed Mrs. Gray's life. I am pleased to say that the Holy Spirit has blessed the lives of many of them with hope and faith. They have found peace in the Lord and a new vision for the future. A number of them later phoned me about the changes in their lives.

The Lord has given us beautiful minds and blessed us with the capacity to form in them images of things not present to the senses. God has endowed us with the ability to create new ideas or to combine old ones in new ways. That crowning element is our imagination. Let us always watch and pray over it with all possible diligence lest Satan injure or distort it. Only through divine help can those tragic men and women who write to me overcome the terrible discouragement and misery that Satan and this sin-filled world heaps upon them. Christ is eagerly waiting to give us through the Holy Spirit incredible power, incredible victory, and incredible joy. Our lives will then give Him incredible glory.